Unamused by the Muse

by Darlene Cah

WRITER sits at a computer typing in a cluttered office. A single desk lamp illuminates the mess of books, papers, dirty dinner dishes, soda cans, etc.

VOICE
Hey! How about that story about the woman and the Flamenco guitar player?

 (Writer shifts weight)

 VOICE
I think it has legs.

(Writer hits keys harder)

VOICE
Picture it. The little town of Mijas in Spain…

 WRITER
Excuse me. I’m trying to work here.

VOICE
Just doing my job.

(Hums)

Hey, I know! The woman, uh, Meg, yeah, Meg. Good name. She and the Flamenco dude…uh…Ignacio go to a shrine and meet his gypsy grandmother.  Yeah, I’m digging this

WRITER
Shut up. I’m in the middle of a love scene. (Types faster)

VOICE
Yeah, I know, but you’ve had the Flamenco character on your mind for weeks…

(Writer puts on headphones)

VOICE
You even wrote in your notebook that he has a tattoo…a ponytail, blue eyes, eats peanuts…has a jigsaw puzzle collection, goes to hear metal bands when he’s not performing…and the cat. Don’t forget the cat!

WRITER
Why do I still hear you!?

VOICE
Your two hundred dollar headphones cannot block the voice of your Muse. Nor can a deep sleep. You should know that by now.

(Writer takes headphones off. Opens a new document)

WRITER
Fine. You win. Ignacio? Really? What’s wrong with Alejandro?

VOICE
Whatever. It’s your story.

I’m a notorious scribbler. I have scraps of paper with first lines, paragraphs, notes, character descriptions, one or two words that were supposed to trigger an idea that later read like a cryptic message. These scraps are on my desk, in my purse, in my pockets. I even have random notes in word docs on my laptop…or is it my desktop? Both.

My writing is like my decorating sense: scattered. So I can’t even call these whims project starts. They’re more like project sparks. Many times they go nowhere. Okay, that’s not entirely true. One went into the washing machine via a hoodie. It made beautiful lint.

Surprisingly, as unfocused as I am with scratching out possible story ideas, when it comes to writing, I get stuck in one place, consumed by setting, characters, voice, plot. This is a recent, odd twist in my personality. I’m pretty flexible in other areas of my life, so this little quirk disturbs me. For one thing, I’m not very productive. I can spend weeks, months stagnant, mulling over some snag in a story or worse, giving up and not thinking about the piece at all. That’s where I am now. Mired in indecision. Uninspired, afraid I’ll become disinterested. But, eventually, Ms. Muse will sigh and throw me a hint, and I can write again.

In the past, I’d take a break from longer stories by writing flash stories or simply write flash for the joy of it. Or I’d scrawl a truly terrible poem. Apparently, Ms. Muse has a sense of humor. In fact, she thinks it’s hilarious that I’m writing this at 1:40 am. Yeah, she has great timing, too.

So do you stop a project and give into Madame Muse when she nags? Or do you crank up the classic rock and put La Muse on hold?

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  1. #1 by NanSea on January 31, 2014 - 9:07 am

    Oh my, get out of my head! Seriously, you could be a vantriliquist for the thoughts I’ve been pondering for some time now. That being said, message heard. I will fill out a ‘promise card’ to myself and listen to my muse when and where she chooses to speak to me.
    Thank you.
    Ur2kind

  2. #2 by NanSea on January 31, 2014 - 9:09 am

    “ventriloquist” … note to self, never hit send without first proofing and spellchecking ones communique’.

    • #3 by wordimprovisor177 on January 31, 2014 - 9:37 am

      LOL! You caught it in the second draft. ;-) Thanks for your comments. Happy writing!

  3. #4 by Elise Osterud on January 31, 2014 - 9:58 am

    Loved it, Darlene!

  4. #6 by suki59 on January 31, 2014 - 10:26 am

    Haha! Very funny, Darlene, and so true! I feed my muse whatever she wants, and as a result, my desk and mind are as cluttered as yours. I haven’t laundered a story idea though (yet).

  5. #7 by wordimprovisor177 on January 31, 2014 - 10:34 am

    Thanks for reading, Susan. For my next trick, I’ll vacuum a story. May your cluttered mind spew out another successful book!

  6. #8 by talesfromahungrylife on February 5, 2014 - 11:34 am

    Darlene, there are so many stories going on in my head at once–that Lady Muse just never shuts up. I try to keep it all organized, but…well you know how long it took me to get the first book completed! Keep going and do whatever you can to keep your muse happy. I always look forward to your posts.

  7. #9 by wordimprovisor177 on February 5, 2014 - 1:22 pm

    Thanks for reading, Maria. Sometimes the Muse will not be tamed. Frankly, I think mine hates me. She’s gone frighteningly silent, lately. With all your recent posts coming out fast and furious, I think book two is in the making! Keep going, Maria.

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